did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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