p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
