Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
