Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
