do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
