I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
