why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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