At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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