Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
