So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
