You work out of a Hotel?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
