Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
