Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
