im gay
i know
yea but for you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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