I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
