yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
