Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
