She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
