it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
