Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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