On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
