We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
