there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
