yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
