we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Randomize
