I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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