....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
