Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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