The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize