Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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