and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude. I can hear the air.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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