I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
