No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
