It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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