You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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