dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
