I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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