5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
