the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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