ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
