i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
