3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
