A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize