Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
