Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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