my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
