she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
