her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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