I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
