Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
