singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
