you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
