I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Everclear isn't food dammit
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
