The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
