The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
