You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We're too hungover to prance.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
