you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
