how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
