oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
