just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
how does that bad decision feel?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
