Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
