Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
