Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
