The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize