So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
