u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
