come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
