Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize