She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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