All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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